Imagine feeling like you have a just a cold and you go to the doctors and it ends up being pneumonia. This happened to our poor Conner a little over a year ago and ever since I take something as simple as a runny nose very seriously.
Due to Conners history he has a very high tolerance to pain, I feel like the combination of his lack of speech and high sensory needs that he doesn't understand if he doesn't feel right simply because he doesn't know what normal is. Now when he got pneumonia he had a simple runny nose for a few days and then he had a fever I couldn't get to go down so we took him to the doctors and wham we got the big news. Now two weeks later he spent all morning crying and grabbing at his throat so I rushed him into urgent care to find out that his pneumonia wasn't cleared up and he also had a double ear infection! This kid is strong. So this past Saturday he didn't sleep well the night before and was crying constantly so we got him into urgent care again to find out that he had sinusitis( basically a sinus infection) and an ear infection! All this and you could barely tell he was sick! Even with no sleep Conner was still bouncing of the walls, running around like "crazy Conner" and enjoying his iPad time.
Point proven that if the boy is sick, you really can't tell.
One thing that I don't like to do is see several different doctors because it is hard to keep explaining conners diagnosis over and over. But surprisingly this doctor was great and also gave some great advice. As I was explaining my child with autism who happens to be non verbal the doctor told me if I ever feel as though he just isn't normal, that I should give him some medicine because clearly he cannot tell me if he has a stomach ache or a headache. Which made a great point, I've had headaches of what feels like my entire life. Now being my child, what if Conner has the same headaches which makes him have these "off" days as I call them.
This doctor definitely made me think and I make my promise to Conner that I will continue to trust my gut and watch out for him until he is able to voice his feelings himself.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Who would have thought I'd be here.
It's been almost a year since we were waiting to get Conner officially diagnosed. A year ago today I was counting down the days until our appointment with the psychologist. A year ago I was sitting at home bawling my eyes out every few hours because the stress of having a four year old who did not listen and a four month old colicky baby was hard. I never saw this for my future. A year ago I never wanted to leave the townhouse we were renting and look at us now, we own our house and I can't wait to get out and have new adventures. A year ago I was scared to introduce my child to strangers in fear that he wouldn't be accepted. Here I am a year later, here Conner is a year later. He is a brand new child who is working on bettering himself. A year later my son is finding his voice, he is starting to read because I taught him. He is finally starting to understand the toilet is not a monster. He is realizing he has a brother who will be around for the rest of his life.
A year ago I did not think I would get to where we are. I am so very thankful I'm finally getting recognized as a great mother, I'm thankful that my child is being accepted. Society sees that autism is not just a diagnosis. He is different, but that Is what makes him Conner.
We will take one day at a time. We will speak loudly. Like I always say, just because you do not have a voice, does not mean you have nothing to say.
Remembering what life was like before our official diagnosis is hard. It feels like it was so long ago but in reality we have barely made it to that one year mark. Conner I am so proud of you and I'm proud to call myself your mom. I long to hear you call me "mommy" but that will never stop me from being your voice.
Again I thank everyone for reading. We are only one year into this lifetime journey but I couldn't do this without y'all's positive energy!!
New year, and all that follows.
First I'd like to say I hope everyone had a joyous Christmas filled with great food, lots of laughter, some gifts and hopefully all the people you love and care about. I also hope your new year has been as fresh as a newborn baby after their first bath (haha lame but cute)!
We traveled back to the great state of Virginia following our Christmas at home, and surprisingly it was the best 8 hour drive with two kids that I've ever experienced! My dear husband was able to join us on the drive this time around so it was nice to be together as a family (Conner is much more behaved when each child has his "buddy"). We decided for this drive we we're gonna take our time because we knew we'd hit traffic so of course our trip was a few hours longer than normal but thanks to a big case of DVDs, an iPad (with charger), and of course 2 bags of popcorn plus numerous snacks... We made it! Conner was very well behaved and I feel as though he did well considering he was in different surroundings once again. I don't think he remembers that for the first three years of his life he lived in Virginia, but I know one day he will understand.
As we returned from our last family vacation of the year it was a bittersweet weekend. The following Monday my child was returning to school but no longer as a half day student, he was now a full day kid. What does that mean- he was no longer only there for three hours but now seven hours. First thought- what the hell am I going to do for seven whole hours with his 16 month old brother?! When I only had one child I was still working at a vet occasionally pulling 11 hour shifts so I was kept busy, but now I kind of feel lost. Because of the holiday his first full day week was only three days long and he rocked them! Conner not only more than doubled his time at school but he is eating packed lunches in a cafeteria, he's using the potty like a big boy at least once a day and well his language has expanded to so many words it's hard to count!
Conner still has his at home ABA four days a week plus once every other weekend so he stays very busy but it is helping so much! I was very worried that I was putting his needs on another adult but everyone is reassuring me this is whats best for him. I still can't shake the "but I'm his mom" feeling. As much as I feel it should be my job to teach him I'm understanding that he is special, and it definitely does take a village to raise that kid ;)
Now on another note I'm a suffering the biggest case of writers block. I have so much to say but I am, like I said, stuck in the it's my job mood. This year holds big things for our family, our first deployment comes in a few months and I fear that I will not be able to handle all of his alone. We are also currently trying to get all the financial help Conner deserves and also the stress of getting Conner to eat more than just chicken nuggets is hard. I would like to say thank you for reading and as for all of you that message me or call me (cough mom cough) asking where my blog is, I urge you to continue. Writing and hearing everyone listen to conners story means the world and is better than having a therapist. Cheers to another insane year!!
We traveled back to the great state of Virginia following our Christmas at home, and surprisingly it was the best 8 hour drive with two kids that I've ever experienced! My dear husband was able to join us on the drive this time around so it was nice to be together as a family (Conner is much more behaved when each child has his "buddy"). We decided for this drive we we're gonna take our time because we knew we'd hit traffic so of course our trip was a few hours longer than normal but thanks to a big case of DVDs, an iPad (with charger), and of course 2 bags of popcorn plus numerous snacks... We made it! Conner was very well behaved and I feel as though he did well considering he was in different surroundings once again. I don't think he remembers that for the first three years of his life he lived in Virginia, but I know one day he will understand.
As we returned from our last family vacation of the year it was a bittersweet weekend. The following Monday my child was returning to school but no longer as a half day student, he was now a full day kid. What does that mean- he was no longer only there for three hours but now seven hours. First thought- what the hell am I going to do for seven whole hours with his 16 month old brother?! When I only had one child I was still working at a vet occasionally pulling 11 hour shifts so I was kept busy, but now I kind of feel lost. Because of the holiday his first full day week was only three days long and he rocked them! Conner not only more than doubled his time at school but he is eating packed lunches in a cafeteria, he's using the potty like a big boy at least once a day and well his language has expanded to so many words it's hard to count!
Conner still has his at home ABA four days a week plus once every other weekend so he stays very busy but it is helping so much! I was very worried that I was putting his needs on another adult but everyone is reassuring me this is whats best for him. I still can't shake the "but I'm his mom" feeling. As much as I feel it should be my job to teach him I'm understanding that he is special, and it definitely does take a village to raise that kid ;)
Now on another note I'm a suffering the biggest case of writers block. I have so much to say but I am, like I said, stuck in the it's my job mood. This year holds big things for our family, our first deployment comes in a few months and I fear that I will not be able to handle all of his alone. We are also currently trying to get all the financial help Conner deserves and also the stress of getting Conner to eat more than just chicken nuggets is hard. I would like to say thank you for reading and as for all of you that message me or call me (cough mom cough) asking where my blog is, I urge you to continue. Writing and hearing everyone listen to conners story means the world and is better than having a therapist. Cheers to another insane year!!
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