He's a going to school!!

So the news is out, it's official- my 5 year old has been accepted into school!! After months of meeting with our local early intervention program, we had our final meeting this morning and drafted and finalized up his IEP. An IEP is an individualized education program, or in mommy English it is his plan about when he's going to go to school and what are their goals and objectives while he is attending. These meetings are designed to help children make a school plan if they are not considered "school aged" but has some sort of disability to allow them to learn.
Back to Conner's story, so we had heard from several of our therapists that this was going to be an intense meeting with lots of big words and a lots of thinking, so we decided we were gonna take our little one to a babysitter so we could concentrate on Conner- best decision ever! Even though everyone asked where the "cutie pie" was I'm glad I took him to my friends house for the morning! We arrived at the school and when we checked in we were pointed to the conference room and WOW there was about ten ladies sitting around the table- talk about overwhelming! We had asked our "big" ABA therapist to come so besides here there was two occupational therapists a speech therapist, a special Ed preschool teacher, an autism specialist, the head teacher at the school, the school psychologist, the principal and conners new preschool teacher. There was probably more but that's just what I can call out. So we listen to their evaluation and then their recommendations signed a lot of papers and of course got some much needed calming information from his actual teacher who gave us the run down of what he will be doing on a daily and how everything works.
After all the craziness we came up with the plan that Conner will go part time for the 3 weeks of school between thanksgiving and Christmas and then he will start full time in January for the rest of the school year! I'm so excited for him to ride a bus and be with other kids while learning but I'm kinda sad at the same time. Not only is my child growing up so quickly that he's gonna be attending school but once he starts full time we won't have our special ladies in our lives- at least not until school lets out and the summer sessions start. But all feelings aside I'm doing what's best. His class only has ten kids and only five of them is full time kids, so he will get plenty of attention from the teachers plus he will receive plenty of occupation, speech and ABA therapies in school. It's basically the deluxe package if you ask me!
When we were done with the information meeting I received a huge folder from the school with a bunch of papers to fill out and then conners teacher took us to the classroom which allowed to look around and also meet the kids. The classroom was amazing but honestly the bathroom was the best part- this bathroom was huge but the coolest thing was the full size fridge and the washer and dryer inside just for his class! Amazing right! Haha!! After we saw the class we walked out to the playground so Conner could interact with the kids and honestly I don't think Conner knew exactly what to do... he did make two friends and I think they'll one day be called the three hermanos- at least that's what I'm calling them!
As we left the school and got in the car I was just in awe. We have had the craziest year but look at how far we have come. Never give up and push for your rights, someone's gotta make sure our kids have the best opportunities available for them.

The big 5. Adventures and cake.

I've always believed that five is a big age to turn. I remember my fifth birthday and as per my conversation with fiends everyone has seemed to agree with me.

Well sadly my child doesn't understand many simple tasks so for him to understand that it is his birthday- I wouldn't expect him to know what it means. So as my husband and I decided, we wanted to give him something to remember so that when he was older- we could say "hey son remember when we went to the big aquarium in Georgia, that was for your fifth birthday".

So what did we do, we packed up our SUV, told whatever friends that wanted to tag along that we were hitting the road for the weekend. It was a five hour drive but it was worth every minute on the road! We arrived around 12:30am and after a long drive my kids were WIRED so we decided that we would stay up to the time Conner was born to celebrate- so we of course had to fill conners sensory meters up by rough playing and letting him run around and bounce on beds. Sure he didn't understand what we meant when we kept saying happy birthday but honestly one day, I want him to know that his autism didn't stop us from celebrating. This past year has been rough since his diagnosis but why would I let that stop us from getting out!

So after a good nights sleep we hit the road, ten minutes later we were in the parking garage of the great Atlanta aquarium. I was very hesitant when we were unloading from the car and I decided we weren't going to take the stroller but I'm so glad we didn't! To be honest Conner was great! We had no meltdowns, he LOVED the dolphin show and he had a blast seeing all the fishes and whales, oh and the shark tunnel was the coolest thing to him!! It's shocking to say, but his baby brother was the cranky one out of he bunch! But regardless we all had a blast and I would surely do it again and again if I had the money!

We celebrated after the aquarium with cake and a stay at another nice hotel. In the morning we explored Athens and the campus to our favorite football team (go dawgs!) and Conner yet again surprised us all.

I wish our family was here to enjoy this vacation with us, but for what it's worth I know that they are glad we got out and did something fun!
As for my lovely parents their saying was wish we were there but our gift will surely make up for our absence. It sure did! Of course I'd rather be surrounded by my family then get an expense gift, but my lovely parents bought Conner an iPad. Spoiled? Nope! This iPad isn't just for pleasure- it's actually one of the best therapy tools!! Ill be sure to keep you updated on the learning apps were using and also how it's such an awesome tool!

Enjoy a few photos- with many many more to come!

Trick or treat. With a voice.

Conner could have been a pirate, a ninja, even an angry bird but my child choose a ghost. Yes my practically five year old was a ghost for Halloween! It could have been influenced because for therapy they are making ghost noises and having him walk around with his hands straight out saying boo but at the end of the day, he was the best ghost out there!

Last year was the first actually Halloween my child dressed up and went out house to house. He shocked us by being the calmest kid in the group! He walked from house to house and was careful to only take one piece of candy. I don't know what it is about Halloween that made my kid so- well normal! So when this year came around I was so excited I woke up feeling like a kid again and couldn't wait til it got dark.

Now for the first year ever on Facebook their are pictures and sayings circulating about kids that cannot speak or kids with difficulties grabbing candy. Maybe there were pictures the year back and I'm just noticing them or maybe autism is becoming more known and understood. Hopefully people are understanding more- that would be my wish!

Because of these sayings I had an idea. What mom doesn't want to buy her kid a Halloween shirt to wear, but I wanted to be different. My dad had found a quote and I was going to use my creativity and make it a shirt- so I did! The shirt reads, " happy Halloween... Boo to you... I am non verbal... I cannot speak... If I could I would say... Trick or treat". Now this shirt was a hit! But let's back up- the morning of Halloween I showed my child this shirt. As I read it to him he was trying to copy me! He was trying and was actually making a different sound for each syllable!! He copied the entire saying but when I asked if he could say trick or treat, he said it so clear my heart melted. I immediately called my parents so they could hear him speak! For the rest of the day I kept asking for him to repeat it and he did- sometimes it wasn't that perfect but I don't care, my child was trying and I know he is capable of speaking.

Later we headed out the door to a friends house and now it was time to get ready. Conners costume had a mask- but I knew he wouldn't keep it on because it was a full face mask. So I painted his face white, put some black under his eyes and off we went. Yet again he walked, grabbed candy and this year he tried to say trick or treat.

Overall this Halloween night was yet another great night because he fit in and was accepted for being different. One older gentleman heard him say trick or treat with difficulty and his response was "hey he's trying and he's doing good at trying". For a complete stranger to be so kind was an awesome feeling.

I hope you had a fun Halloween and even more I hope if you encountered a child having a hard time saying trick or treat you didn't treat him differently. Enjoy these few photos from our night!

Pumpkin patch. Corn and sand.

Lets be honest. You will probably never meet two kids on the autism spectrum that are identical. I had the privilege of attending a social outing with our ABA group this past weekend and while I was there my eyes were opened up. These 5 boys (Conner included) were all so different. One kid didn't like to be away from his mom to the point that he was attached like glue because he didn't like new things, One kid was talking up a storm about the corn field and how to read a map, one kid was very quiet but talked quietly when asked a simple question, but ultimately Conner was the most different as for his had no speech and had to hold hands with someone the whole time so he didn't run off.
Granted my child was the youngest (as was I as a parent) and he was also the newest to the group- all the kids were very much similar.
There was a huge tire jump the had a mound of sand to play on and all the kids loved it! They loved to play in the sand and climb to the highest point. One kid said "you look like an ant down there" so a response was " you look like a giant up there"! These kids see literal things. So he might have been picturing us as ants and then himself as a big giant.
The ultimate favorite was the corn box. It was basically a sand box filled with corn kernels and oh man it was a hit! Every single kid at one point was Laying down squishing sand in between their fingers. It was amazing to see them all fill up their sensory needs by simply rolling in corn!
Overall this trip was so much fun and I look forward to seeing this group of kids again for our next adventure!

Medicating. Or not.

Hearing a trained therapist say they cannot work with your child is the worst. An hour session went to 30 minutes, then 15 minutes and even one session was only 10 minutes long. How could a therapists not work with my child for such a short period of time when I was able to do it every day all day long with no naps involved to get a break and even more- I had an infant on my hip!
His therapist which yes we do still work with her now, told me that unless he got on some sort of behavioral meds or started ABA therapy she didn't think she would be able to handle him. Am I making you mad yet that a trained and licensed therapist said this?
My child is part of the autism spectrum, has ADHD and a bunch of behavioral issues. Now does that mean he is strung up on drugs? No! Don't get me wrong, we debated it and even went as far as reaching out to our social worker to make it happen but thankfully so far we have decided against it.
We were having a hard time getting ABA started due to our medical insurance because instead of using the company they were trying to give us a referral to I wanted to use the company that I met at an autism walk because I felt like they cared about us (which they clearly do).
Thankfully our social worker was able to talk us out of starting a bunch of "mind relaxing" medicines and we concentrated on getting ABA started and that was the best thing ever. Am I to say that I will never put my child on medicine? Definitely not.
I am not against medicating, I just know that in this particular time in Conners life he has something that is better than medicine and that is the three ladies that come to our home four times a week that work on everyday life with him.
Thankfully the therapist that said she didn't think she could work with him reminds me every time we see her that Conner is so different that its amazing how much more attentive he is. I love going into the office and explaining everything he had learned in the past week and seeing that look of shock on her face. We started ABA the beginning if September and Conner has blossomed into the little boy that we all know is in there- we still have a long way to go but the progress we have already seen is totally worth the rough path we have and will continue to go through.
If you have ever been faced with the reality that you might have to put your child on behavior meds, I invite you to take a step back and look at all the options. Sadly these medicines don't always work and can very much make the situation you are in worse. In Conner's case, if I put him on a pill how would I know if he had any side affects like a headache or a tummy ache or if he just didn't feel like him. My child is non verbal and that clearly isn't an option for us, right now at least.
As for the therapist who said she couldn't work with him- I almost gave up on her but I'm glad I didn't. If I did she never would have seen how great Conner is and can be. Maybe he's teaching her a thing or two!

What do you want to know?

I've had the privilege to start sharing my story but I've had a lot of questions along the way. I would love to hear what you want to know or want shared. I'm sharing my email so you can privately send me questions and I will answer them here anonymously through my blog.

Ask away readers!!
Burninphotos@gmail.com

Festival and using a voice.

I must say, in the past three days I have taken my two kids somewhere to do something big which means loud noises and crowds but let me tell you: they have been the best outings I have ever been on with my kids.
Conners autism usually means meltdowns, screaming and not so fun stares because he doesn't talk or necessarily understand. Thankfully this weekend was a complete turn around.
We attended children's day this weekend which had bounce houses and horse rides and lots of booths and games. Of course my child wanted to do everything but he had trouble waiting but even with long lines he did amazingly well. I wore my surfers healing shirt which says "surfers healing a foundation for autism" on it in hopes that if Conner acted up others would see my shirt and be kind. Surprisingly enough, people were! I even had a very nice gentleman at a booth ask me about surfers healing and I was thrilled to explain their organization and what it had done for my child.
Surfers healing is basically a bunch of professional surfers that volunteer their time and kindness to take children with autism out on a surf board for the day. It's amazing to see how wound up these kids are on the beach and how calm they are out in the ocean with a board and trusting a complete stranger. I cried when "mark" our surfer came in on a wave and picked Conner up on his shoulders- seeing the look on conners face was as if he was on top of the world. I posted on their Facebook page telling them that I shared their organization at the event and surely enough they replied saying thank you and said "it only takes one voice". I am proud to say I'm speaking for myself and most of all my son.

Please enjoy these photos!