Saturday, February 8, 2014
"OH SHIT" , I can't say SH*T anymore?!
Okay okay okay, it has been forever since my last blog and I sincerely apologize! Lots has happened, too much which is the reason why I haven't had time to post. Number one, our household is now back to complete with one mom, one dad, two children, two dogs, and two cats... I know- ITS A ZOO!! We have been doing construction to our home, which has been challenging between Conner's school and therapy but surprisingly even though were having lots of changes Conner has been doing fairly well! Normally changing bed sheets can lead to a meltdown but he is doing good, minus when we had to unplug the wireless internet when we were installing new floors in the living room... now that was the longest hour of my life because... his computer wouldn't work and the Ipad had no internet and well, my neighbors probably thought we were reenacting world war II up in here.
So lets see what else is new, well... nothing... besides the fact that Conner's words are flourishing! He's doing SOOOO well at this- he is now copying his mothers favorite phrase... "OH SH*T". Worst part about him copying this phrase is that I learned that he was saying it from his teacher at school. As she puts it, they didn't know if that's really what he said but it sounded like it and he would have been using it in the proper context. Well all I have to say is sorry. I have tried for years to cut back on my cussing, but ill be honest- I'm a young mom and my children are both learning the same vocabulary even though they are 4 years apart. Its weird to think about it in my perspective, I have had years of raising my kids and not worrying about what rolls off my tongue because I knew they could not copy me. Well, times are changing and I have to learn to be a proper mother because my child is now copying me and repeating these words in front of people he shouldn't. I'll be honest and admit that even though I see nothing wrong with a cuss word here or there- children should not be using these words. I find it highly disrespectful when a child uses a cuss word and their parent finds it funny or ignores it. I promise that my children will not use that language around adults and if it means that I will need to stop saying it all together to set a good example then I'm going to do my very best!
So minus Conner's "bad word" rolling out of his mouth, he is doing AMAZING at school! I love hearing how much fun he had and seeing all the progress he is making on a daily basis. I honestly feel very blessed to be apart of such a wonderful school and to have Conner in a class that really is helping him. I've mentioned this numerous times but early intervention is key to these little ones. Conner can now write his first name, and is working on his last name. He is almost fully potty trained (we have frequent number 2 incidents) he is counting to ten, he knows his colors and most of his alphabet and one of the main things we are currently working at is asking properly for things, for example "I want ____" or "I would like _____". Its cute when he saying something like "popsicle" and you just pause and stare at him, so he stops and thinks for a second and then says " I would like a popsicle"..."please". Its amazing to see how far he has come in just a little over a year. I stop and quite frequently think about the fact that last June was the first time he called me "Mom". I waited 6 years to hear him call my name, and now less than a year later I think ill change it! Naa just kidding- I love hearing his sweet voice!
So sorry for the short update, but life has been insane. I don't have a Facebook account anymore so I know everyone is just dying to hear how things are going so I hope I gave you a little smile because when I get to the point- Conner is learning... One word at a time, and he has the most amazing voice and I cannot wait for you all to hear it and to feel how happy he is that he is communicating, and he's doing so well at it!!
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
He's my kid, I swear!
Return of the bad mom guilt! Lets back up for a second, my son coughs…constantly… and we were always told it was just allergies, until Friday. My son was diagnosed with asthma and sadly it wasn’t me that made the call to go to the doctors, but his school teacher.
I received a text message from Conner's teacher around noon on Thursday asking if Conner had ever been tested for asthma- I responded with “no” he just has allergies (man was I wrong). She then pointed out that yes he has a cough, but now there was a new symptom… wheezing… when I read this, my heart sunk. How did I not notice that my child has been wheezing and coughing constantly?! OH WAIT, I know… probably because I only get to interact with my child for about 2-3 hours a day.
Conner's schedule is close to what a student goes through while getting ready for exams, except for Conner- there is no final exam date. He wakes up, attends kindergarten for seven hours, comes home to do about three hours of ABA therapy (he currently has 5-6 sessions a week) then has about two hours to eat dinner, take a bath and somewhere in there we fit in quality family time with his little brother and me. He does this everyday, and it all gets done before 8 pm when his bedtime routine starts so he can get the proper sleep needed to do it all over the next day.
I barely see or spend time with my own child. Who really would have thought this is how his life would be at the age of five. He is barely six years old! Of course when he has his “down” time all he wants to do is play on his Ipad, or play on the computer- he is a kid, a growing kid that has been put into a more intense work schedule than I know all of you went through when you were his age. But what am I to do? Its helping… but who is losing out in the long run?
This is clearly one of the things people don’t think of when they hear “Autism”. I bet you thought life was all gumdrops and rainbows ehh. Yes there are tantrums, screaming, lots of biting and fist throwing- but in reality these kids are still kids. I never wished this for my child but I really hope that one day he will still thank me. I hope our bond continues to grow as he gains language, I hope he finds a way to express himself whether it be music or writing or just building something beautiful. Most of all I hope people continue to accept him. I love hearing from all of his teachers and therapists that he is such a funny smart and loving kid. I really do love hearing it- but it saddens me that they get to see it more than I do. He is my child, I grew him, I gave birth to him, and yes he will always be my kid, I love you Conner and this is what is best for you- ill never get this time back, but we will be sure to make big memories so that one day when he is older he can say “I did this with my brother and my Mom”.
For Conner,
Keep shining little one, your voice is getting bigger and better by the day! Everyone is so proud of you and you have so many people standing tall behind you to make sure you never fall. Just remember we are finding your voice, one word at a time. We love you to the moon and back!
I received a text message from Conner's teacher around noon on Thursday asking if Conner had ever been tested for asthma- I responded with “no” he just has allergies (man was I wrong). She then pointed out that yes he has a cough, but now there was a new symptom… wheezing… when I read this, my heart sunk. How did I not notice that my child has been wheezing and coughing constantly?! OH WAIT, I know… probably because I only get to interact with my child for about 2-3 hours a day.
Conner's schedule is close to what a student goes through while getting ready for exams, except for Conner- there is no final exam date. He wakes up, attends kindergarten for seven hours, comes home to do about three hours of ABA therapy (he currently has 5-6 sessions a week) then has about two hours to eat dinner, take a bath and somewhere in there we fit in quality family time with his little brother and me. He does this everyday, and it all gets done before 8 pm when his bedtime routine starts so he can get the proper sleep needed to do it all over the next day.
I barely see or spend time with my own child. Who really would have thought this is how his life would be at the age of five. He is barely six years old! Of course when he has his “down” time all he wants to do is play on his Ipad, or play on the computer- he is a kid, a growing kid that has been put into a more intense work schedule than I know all of you went through when you were his age. But what am I to do? Its helping… but who is losing out in the long run?
This is clearly one of the things people don’t think of when they hear “Autism”. I bet you thought life was all gumdrops and rainbows ehh. Yes there are tantrums, screaming, lots of biting and fist throwing- but in reality these kids are still kids. I never wished this for my child but I really hope that one day he will still thank me. I hope our bond continues to grow as he gains language, I hope he finds a way to express himself whether it be music or writing or just building something beautiful. Most of all I hope people continue to accept him. I love hearing from all of his teachers and therapists that he is such a funny smart and loving kid. I really do love hearing it- but it saddens me that they get to see it more than I do. He is my child, I grew him, I gave birth to him, and yes he will always be my kid, I love you Conner and this is what is best for you- ill never get this time back, but we will be sure to make big memories so that one day when he is older he can say “I did this with my brother and my Mom”.
For Conner,
Keep shining little one, your voice is getting bigger and better by the day! Everyone is so proud of you and you have so many people standing tall behind you to make sure you never fall. Just remember we are finding your voice, one word at a time. We love you to the moon and back!
Monday, September 9, 2013
50 things about Me.
A lot of people ask me what makes Conner different, and honestly it’s hard to put it in words. If you think about it all children with Autism are different. I’ve used the analogy before that Autism is like the driver of the bus and you never know what students your going to get, so when it comes down to it Autism is so much more than a person having bad social skills or developmental delays. Autism is language, its actions, its feelings and again so much more. Every child is different and instead of asking "why" Conner does things differently I decided I was going to tell you what he actually does and allow you to get to know a piece of him. Finding Conner’s voice will take years, but the progress we have had within this past year will make it all worth it in the end!
1. My name is Conner and I am almost 6 years old.
2. My language skills are far from the best.
3. I did not know how to say "Mommy" or "Conner" until I was 5 1/2 years old
4. For about 6 months I refused to say yes or no. Instead I would click my tongue and point to the item I wanted
5. I learned to read before using my verbal language, this makes me Hyperlexic.
6. I have only been in ABA therapy for a year, but I have made more progress in this past year then I have my entire life!
7. I absolutely love anything Disney
8. I can now name animals, stores, and my favorite is naming characters.
9. I love movies, and mostly YOUTUBE.
10. I find character figurines fascinating.
11. I am an absolute whiz at an Ipad
12. I almost always have something in my hand, its part of my sensory disorder.
13. Most children express imagination skills as early as the toddler years, but I am almost 6 and I am just now using my imagination.
14. I love to line up my toys, I have done this since 18 months old and I probably will never stop.
15. I like to jump when I am standing still, and if you need me to get somewhere quick all you need to do is tell me to gallop like a horse to point b and ill get there in no time.
16. I always have to hold an adults hand when out of my house or classroom ...if not I am a runner and I am quick to jump in front of moving items without warning.
17. I scream when I get frustrated.
18. I also love to put my hands over my ears. This isn’t only for annoying sounds, but mainly when I am excited.
19. Sadly I am not 100% potty trained because I haven’t figured out how to express my needs to use the restroom.
20. My favorite animal is a shark. But due to my stubbornness and my language skills I call it a "Yark"
21. I can probably play my Xbox games better than you.
22. I have a new found glory for dancing. Everyone says I know how to bust a move.
23. I also LOVE to sing! My words are not all there but trust me you can tell that I am trying
24. I hate brushing my teeth.
25. I still need assistance getting dressed, but don’t worry I can take it all off when it counts!
26. I LOVE to give hugs! I’m super friendly I promise!
27. I currently attend an Autism Kindergarten classroom... I fit so well and I finally feel like I belong!
28. I still cannot ride a bike; I can ride a power wheel if you can help me with the steering.
29. I have a super hard time sitting still for longer than ten minutes.
30. I have super bad allergies like my dad, but any medicine makes my tantrums come more frequently.
31. I currently am not on any mood changing medicine for the fact that I cannot express if they made me feel bad on the inside.
32. I did not learn to jump until I was 3 years old.
33. I love my happy meals so much I sing the "bu duh duh duh duh im lovin' it" song when I am riding along through the drive through
34. Cutting my hair requires two adults and several electronics to keep me still. If mommy has to do it alone it takes her at least two sitting to cut it evenly and I give her hell evertime she comes close to my ears.
35. Sometimes I do not hear people when they call my name. It could take you yelling up to 3-4 times for me to recognize it is me you are calling.
36. I practically taught myself how to swim.
37. I love the pool even more than the ocean!
38. I still to this day do not understand many simple commands. If you ask me for the remote it takes me a few to actually remember what a remote is and also that you’re asking for me to hand it to you.
39. I am so intelligent I know how to order movies on demand, even with a password,
40. I don’t understand why I have to wait in line. I blame my patience.
41. I believe that rough play is allowed 24-7 and that everyone is fair game.
42. Sugar might be fun to you, but it messes with all of my senses.
43. My little brother is really becoming my best friend, I like to teach him all sorts of things that makes mommy’s head spin.
44. I am such a picky eater. At the moment all I want is noodles, pizza, hot dogs or chicken nuggets. I absolutely refuse to eat any vegetable (like most kids) but if it is not “finger foods” I will not even try it out.
45. Surprisingly I didn’t learn to drink out of an open cup until the age of 3, even then I still spilt it constantly for months after I learned my new skill
46. Every time I learn a new skill, my mommy cries. You should have seen her when I called her mommy for the first time!!
47. My computer skills are better than a teenager on facebook.
48. I am a very smiley and all around happy when I am not having one of my famous tantrums. They consist of me rolling around the floor like a wet noodle.
49. My lack of vocabulary is ultimately that of a 2 year old… but I will not let that stop me.
50. I am Conner. I am proud to say I have overcome a lot of hurdles all by the age of 6. My life will have many challenges but I have the best family support that any child could ask for. My mother is my number one fan though…
Thank you for taking the time to read about Conner. He doesn’t need to be explained because when it comes down to it, he is Conner
1. My name is Conner and I am almost 6 years old.
2. My language skills are far from the best.
3. I did not know how to say "Mommy" or "Conner" until I was 5 1/2 years old
4. For about 6 months I refused to say yes or no. Instead I would click my tongue and point to the item I wanted
5. I learned to read before using my verbal language, this makes me Hyperlexic.
6. I have only been in ABA therapy for a year, but I have made more progress in this past year then I have my entire life!
7. I absolutely love anything Disney
8. I can now name animals, stores, and my favorite is naming characters.
9. I love movies, and mostly YOUTUBE.
10. I find character figurines fascinating.
11. I am an absolute whiz at an Ipad
12. I almost always have something in my hand, its part of my sensory disorder.
13. Most children express imagination skills as early as the toddler years, but I am almost 6 and I am just now using my imagination.
14. I love to line up my toys, I have done this since 18 months old and I probably will never stop.
15. I like to jump when I am standing still, and if you need me to get somewhere quick all you need to do is tell me to gallop like a horse to point b and ill get there in no time.
16. I always have to hold an adults hand when out of my house or classroom ...if not I am a runner and I am quick to jump in front of moving items without warning.
17. I scream when I get frustrated.
18. I also love to put my hands over my ears. This isn’t only for annoying sounds, but mainly when I am excited.
19. Sadly I am not 100% potty trained because I haven’t figured out how to express my needs to use the restroom.
20. My favorite animal is a shark. But due to my stubbornness and my language skills I call it a "Yark"
21. I can probably play my Xbox games better than you.
22. I have a new found glory for dancing. Everyone says I know how to bust a move.
23. I also LOVE to sing! My words are not all there but trust me you can tell that I am trying
24. I hate brushing my teeth.
25. I still need assistance getting dressed, but don’t worry I can take it all off when it counts!
26. I LOVE to give hugs! I’m super friendly I promise!
27. I currently attend an Autism Kindergarten classroom... I fit so well and I finally feel like I belong!
28. I still cannot ride a bike; I can ride a power wheel if you can help me with the steering.
29. I have a super hard time sitting still for longer than ten minutes.
30. I have super bad allergies like my dad, but any medicine makes my tantrums come more frequently.
31. I currently am not on any mood changing medicine for the fact that I cannot express if they made me feel bad on the inside.
32. I did not learn to jump until I was 3 years old.
33. I love my happy meals so much I sing the "bu duh duh duh duh im lovin' it" song when I am riding along through the drive through
34. Cutting my hair requires two adults and several electronics to keep me still. If mommy has to do it alone it takes her at least two sitting to cut it evenly and I give her hell evertime she comes close to my ears.
35. Sometimes I do not hear people when they call my name. It could take you yelling up to 3-4 times for me to recognize it is me you are calling.
36. I practically taught myself how to swim.
37. I love the pool even more than the ocean!
38. I still to this day do not understand many simple commands. If you ask me for the remote it takes me a few to actually remember what a remote is and also that you’re asking for me to hand it to you.
39. I am so intelligent I know how to order movies on demand, even with a password,
40. I don’t understand why I have to wait in line. I blame my patience.
41. I believe that rough play is allowed 24-7 and that everyone is fair game.
42. Sugar might be fun to you, but it messes with all of my senses.
43. My little brother is really becoming my best friend, I like to teach him all sorts of things that makes mommy’s head spin.
44. I am such a picky eater. At the moment all I want is noodles, pizza, hot dogs or chicken nuggets. I absolutely refuse to eat any vegetable (like most kids) but if it is not “finger foods” I will not even try it out.
45. Surprisingly I didn’t learn to drink out of an open cup until the age of 3, even then I still spilt it constantly for months after I learned my new skill
46. Every time I learn a new skill, my mommy cries. You should have seen her when I called her mommy for the first time!!
47. My computer skills are better than a teenager on facebook.
48. I am a very smiley and all around happy when I am not having one of my famous tantrums. They consist of me rolling around the floor like a wet noodle.
49. My lack of vocabulary is ultimately that of a 2 year old… but I will not let that stop me.
50. I am Conner. I am proud to say I have overcome a lot of hurdles all by the age of 6. My life will have many challenges but I have the best family support that any child could ask for. My mother is my number one fan though…
Thank you for taking the time to read about Conner. He doesn’t need to be explained because when it comes down to it, he is Conner
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Three months down. 100 tantrums to go.
A few minutes in the life of me. I just finished folding my basket of laundry, and I was making my rounds from room to room put everyone's clothes away. I turned the corner to see my 42 inch son, who weighs about 43 pounds turn to me and scream "MOMeee, baby hit me". Nevermind the fact that my 27lb almost two year old just punched my almost 6 year old... But my sweet Conner just said a complete sentence.
We are officially at the halfway mark for their dads deployment, and to be honest it f-ing sucks. Now I apologize that I haven't blogged in three months but honestly it has taken that much time for me to adjust. And I'll also be honest and say that I've started writing this about four times already, each one had a different emotion, I was sad, depressed, pissed off, and more... I like to think I'm sane at the moment, but that is highly debatable.
Now these past three month have been draining when it comes to Conner. Reminder, autism and change do not go well together. At the end of April my children's father left for his first deployment. Mid May Conners first year of school ended. Conners ABA therapists started coming more often at different times. Conner started summer social camp, and now camp is almost over and we will be getting ready for kindergarten at another new school. If you care to fit anymore life changing events into my child's life- this would be the time (remember we still have three months to go- anything can happen).
Conner has had more tantrums within the past three months than he has this past year that we have been in ABA. Great thing about our "applied behavior analysis" therapy is the cool perk that they graph everything on a daily to keep a record of his changes. So needless to say this kid has been on a hiatus for the past three months.
Now all jokes aside. These three months have been good too. The bond I have with Conner has gotten stronger, we still struggle but finally after 5.5 years of him being here in this earth I am finally hearing the words "Mommy" and "please" and "thank you" and all those other great words that parents take for granted. My child who they told me will probably never have a normal speech is talking. He is no longer "non" verbal. He might be have very low speech and not be able to understand everything yet- but he sure can tell you all of the animal names and Disney characters and he can prompt for almost anything he wants. To be able to talk to my child, is the best feeling, and I am so hopeful that one day he will be able to explain to the world what his life is like through his eyes.
Lets keep in mind this chapter as I call it is hard. This is all me, no spouse, no family for 500 miles, only a few friends who will actually pick up the phone... For the next few months I look forward to getting life a new sparkle. And don't worry a new sparkle means many many more blogs and updates!
Thursday, March 21, 2013
The dreaded word. Deployment.
Imagine thinking your life is set, you have a huge bank account, you have the best car, your home is paid for, you have a loving family and then you wake up. Your homeless, your broke, your family is missing and you have no clue what to do. This is honestly how my child feels when it comes to change. Conner might only be five years old, but that's part of his Autism. Conner has it all, a big house with lots of toys, all his favorite foods whenever he wants them, a pain in the butt little brother and two loving parents but Conner's dad is being deployed for the first time in less than a month and it is going to not only be hard for the entire family but it will completely flip Conner's world upside down.
Now I cannot speak for you, but this is a tight family unit. My husband is home at 5, therapy ends every day at 5:45, dinner is eaten around 6 and then its bath by dad and off to bed. Conner knows when mommy does bath, and daddy is nowhere to be found that "Shit just aint right". I am not looking forward to the next 6 months of being a "single" mom of two young boys one which has Autism.
I have known for almost 6 months that this is happening, but until the last month or two it really hit me. I used to think "ehh I have some time" now I'm like "shit I can’t do this!" And to speak openly I don't need people telling me "you'll be fine" and "it'll go fast" cause ill only have two words to tell you- it starts with "f" and is four letters. Oh and the second word to what I’ll say is "you"...
So back to the point...
In order to help my semi non-verbal child understand what big change is coming up the therapists and I have been working hard to come up with ideas. Due to the fact that we are still currently potty training and it seems like Conner's dad is the only one that can make him go on cue (go figure) we decided to make a video of dad talking to Conner about how it’s time to go potty and also in the video he will be physically walking Conner to the bathroom and will do the bathroom routine with him. Hopefully this will help Conner not back track on his progress during the deployment months. Our "big lady therapist" (as I call her) also suggested making a social story book. Basically this book will have actual pictures and will talk about daddy will be deployed and how Conner will still do things normally with mommy and brother and at the end daddy will come back. It will mimic a book I got from our Airman Family Readiness Center when we arrived at our base three years ago. The last idea that I personally came up with is buying Conner a daddy doll. A daddy doll comes from a company that allows you to upload a picture of your service member and out comes a foot tall version of the service member. Only thing about these dolls, once you add up all the add ons- it can be a 40 dollar plush toy (ouch!).
I know that this is going to be hard for me, but I can only imagine the emotions that Conner is going to go through. All I can do is be strong for him and be his constant. Because were almost to the exact one month left mark we have made it a family mission to do as much as we can before the D-day. We have housework, beach trips, field trips to the museums and lots of laughter planned. Having a child with Autism is hard, it’s even harder when you’re doing it alone.
A promise has now been made. Take one day at a time, as each day presents something different. Whether it be good or bad, every day is a brand new day. Anything can happen for a special needs parent, there are no truer words.
Monday, February 18, 2013
All our friends are different.
All our friends are different but we love them all the same. We had the privilege to attend the yo gabba gabba show live this weekend and this was one of the live performance songs I was forced(hahaha) to listen to, but in all honesty it was probably my favorite of the evening! Conner did surprisingly well during the concert with the help of our trusty iPad during intermission- would I attend another concert, sure would! Yes when the show started the confetti popped and instantly as the music started blaring my child's hands went straight over his ears, but by the second song he was jumping and dancing and laughing up a storm but his hands stayed locked into place for almost the first half of the show! Conner blended right in and it was amazing to know that I can do things like this with my child! I would never use the excuse of " because of his autism we cannot...". I strongly believe that if you try to make these kids feel normal they will do it to the best of their ability, yes he is different and has different needs but if you never try, you'll never know if they can. As my husband says, " a little patience can go a long way".
Now we have had an interesting few weeks. So a much bigger issue has come up, I was forced to deal with a man that told me autism was just a fancy term for stupid, and that my child was only this way because I was a liberal who didn't follow his extreme faith. This man touched so many buttons that I vowed to make him known for what he has said. It only takes one person to stand up and show people the facts. If this man doesn't get his facts straight he will continue to spread his views and furthermore pass on the ridiculous views to other people and the misconceptions about children with autism. My child is far from "stupid", he is actually quite intelligent, he just learns things at a different pace. You do not talk wrongly about my child and get away with it. I know it's impossible to change everyone's opinions, but that doesn't mean we cannot try!
I urge people to stand up and help people understand autism. All of these kids are different but we love them all the same <3
Here are some resources. Autismspeaks.org and autism-society.org
Now we have had an interesting few weeks. So a much bigger issue has come up, I was forced to deal with a man that told me autism was just a fancy term for stupid, and that my child was only this way because I was a liberal who didn't follow his extreme faith. This man touched so many buttons that I vowed to make him known for what he has said. It only takes one person to stand up and show people the facts. If this man doesn't get his facts straight he will continue to spread his views and furthermore pass on the ridiculous views to other people and the misconceptions about children with autism. My child is far from "stupid", he is actually quite intelligent, he just learns things at a different pace. You do not talk wrongly about my child and get away with it. I know it's impossible to change everyone's opinions, but that doesn't mean we cannot try!
I urge people to stand up and help people understand autism. All of these kids are different but we love them all the same <3
Here are some resources. Autismspeaks.org and autism-society.org
Monday, January 21, 2013
Sick in disguise.
Imagine feeling like you have a just a cold and you go to the doctors and it ends up being pneumonia. This happened to our poor Conner a little over a year ago and ever since I take something as simple as a runny nose very seriously.
Due to Conners history he has a very high tolerance to pain, I feel like the combination of his lack of speech and high sensory needs that he doesn't understand if he doesn't feel right simply because he doesn't know what normal is. Now when he got pneumonia he had a simple runny nose for a few days and then he had a fever I couldn't get to go down so we took him to the doctors and wham we got the big news. Now two weeks later he spent all morning crying and grabbing at his throat so I rushed him into urgent care to find out that his pneumonia wasn't cleared up and he also had a double ear infection! This kid is strong. So this past Saturday he didn't sleep well the night before and was crying constantly so we got him into urgent care again to find out that he had sinusitis( basically a sinus infection) and an ear infection! All this and you could barely tell he was sick! Even with no sleep Conner was still bouncing of the walls, running around like "crazy Conner" and enjoying his iPad time.
Point proven that if the boy is sick, you really can't tell.
One thing that I don't like to do is see several different doctors because it is hard to keep explaining conners diagnosis over and over. But surprisingly this doctor was great and also gave some great advice. As I was explaining my child with autism who happens to be non verbal the doctor told me if I ever feel as though he just isn't normal, that I should give him some medicine because clearly he cannot tell me if he has a stomach ache or a headache. Which made a great point, I've had headaches of what feels like my entire life. Now being my child, what if Conner has the same headaches which makes him have these "off" days as I call them.
This doctor definitely made me think and I make my promise to Conner that I will continue to trust my gut and watch out for him until he is able to voice his feelings himself.
Due to Conners history he has a very high tolerance to pain, I feel like the combination of his lack of speech and high sensory needs that he doesn't understand if he doesn't feel right simply because he doesn't know what normal is. Now when he got pneumonia he had a simple runny nose for a few days and then he had a fever I couldn't get to go down so we took him to the doctors and wham we got the big news. Now two weeks later he spent all morning crying and grabbing at his throat so I rushed him into urgent care to find out that his pneumonia wasn't cleared up and he also had a double ear infection! This kid is strong. So this past Saturday he didn't sleep well the night before and was crying constantly so we got him into urgent care again to find out that he had sinusitis( basically a sinus infection) and an ear infection! All this and you could barely tell he was sick! Even with no sleep Conner was still bouncing of the walls, running around like "crazy Conner" and enjoying his iPad time.
Point proven that if the boy is sick, you really can't tell.
One thing that I don't like to do is see several different doctors because it is hard to keep explaining conners diagnosis over and over. But surprisingly this doctor was great and also gave some great advice. As I was explaining my child with autism who happens to be non verbal the doctor told me if I ever feel as though he just isn't normal, that I should give him some medicine because clearly he cannot tell me if he has a stomach ache or a headache. Which made a great point, I've had headaches of what feels like my entire life. Now being my child, what if Conner has the same headaches which makes him have these "off" days as I call them.
This doctor definitely made me think and I make my promise to Conner that I will continue to trust my gut and watch out for him until he is able to voice his feelings himself.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Who would have thought I'd be here.
It's been almost a year since we were waiting to get Conner officially diagnosed. A year ago today I was counting down the days until our appointment with the psychologist. A year ago I was sitting at home bawling my eyes out every few hours because the stress of having a four year old who did not listen and a four month old colicky baby was hard. I never saw this for my future. A year ago I never wanted to leave the townhouse we were renting and look at us now, we own our house and I can't wait to get out and have new adventures. A year ago I was scared to introduce my child to strangers in fear that he wouldn't be accepted. Here I am a year later, here Conner is a year later. He is a brand new child who is working on bettering himself. A year later my son is finding his voice, he is starting to read because I taught him. He is finally starting to understand the toilet is not a monster. He is realizing he has a brother who will be around for the rest of his life.
A year ago I did not think I would get to where we are. I am so very thankful I'm finally getting recognized as a great mother, I'm thankful that my child is being accepted. Society sees that autism is not just a diagnosis. He is different, but that Is what makes him Conner.
We will take one day at a time. We will speak loudly. Like I always say, just because you do not have a voice, does not mean you have nothing to say.
Remembering what life was like before our official diagnosis is hard. It feels like it was so long ago but in reality we have barely made it to that one year mark. Conner I am so proud of you and I'm proud to call myself your mom. I long to hear you call me "mommy" but that will never stop me from being your voice.
Again I thank everyone for reading. We are only one year into this lifetime journey but I couldn't do this without y'all's positive energy!!
New year, and all that follows.
First I'd like to say I hope everyone had a joyous Christmas filled with great food, lots of laughter, some gifts and hopefully all the people you love and care about. I also hope your new year has been as fresh as a newborn baby after their first bath (haha lame but cute)!
We traveled back to the great state of Virginia following our Christmas at home, and surprisingly it was the best 8 hour drive with two kids that I've ever experienced! My dear husband was able to join us on the drive this time around so it was nice to be together as a family (Conner is much more behaved when each child has his "buddy"). We decided for this drive we we're gonna take our time because we knew we'd hit traffic so of course our trip was a few hours longer than normal but thanks to a big case of DVDs, an iPad (with charger), and of course 2 bags of popcorn plus numerous snacks... We made it! Conner was very well behaved and I feel as though he did well considering he was in different surroundings once again. I don't think he remembers that for the first three years of his life he lived in Virginia, but I know one day he will understand.
As we returned from our last family vacation of the year it was a bittersweet weekend. The following Monday my child was returning to school but no longer as a half day student, he was now a full day kid. What does that mean- he was no longer only there for three hours but now seven hours. First thought- what the hell am I going to do for seven whole hours with his 16 month old brother?! When I only had one child I was still working at a vet occasionally pulling 11 hour shifts so I was kept busy, but now I kind of feel lost. Because of the holiday his first full day week was only three days long and he rocked them! Conner not only more than doubled his time at school but he is eating packed lunches in a cafeteria, he's using the potty like a big boy at least once a day and well his language has expanded to so many words it's hard to count!
Conner still has his at home ABA four days a week plus once every other weekend so he stays very busy but it is helping so much! I was very worried that I was putting his needs on another adult but everyone is reassuring me this is whats best for him. I still can't shake the "but I'm his mom" feeling. As much as I feel it should be my job to teach him I'm understanding that he is special, and it definitely does take a village to raise that kid ;)
Now on another note I'm a suffering the biggest case of writers block. I have so much to say but I am, like I said, stuck in the it's my job mood. This year holds big things for our family, our first deployment comes in a few months and I fear that I will not be able to handle all of his alone. We are also currently trying to get all the financial help Conner deserves and also the stress of getting Conner to eat more than just chicken nuggets is hard. I would like to say thank you for reading and as for all of you that message me or call me (cough mom cough) asking where my blog is, I urge you to continue. Writing and hearing everyone listen to conners story means the world and is better than having a therapist. Cheers to another insane year!!
We traveled back to the great state of Virginia following our Christmas at home, and surprisingly it was the best 8 hour drive with two kids that I've ever experienced! My dear husband was able to join us on the drive this time around so it was nice to be together as a family (Conner is much more behaved when each child has his "buddy"). We decided for this drive we we're gonna take our time because we knew we'd hit traffic so of course our trip was a few hours longer than normal but thanks to a big case of DVDs, an iPad (with charger), and of course 2 bags of popcorn plus numerous snacks... We made it! Conner was very well behaved and I feel as though he did well considering he was in different surroundings once again. I don't think he remembers that for the first three years of his life he lived in Virginia, but I know one day he will understand.
As we returned from our last family vacation of the year it was a bittersweet weekend. The following Monday my child was returning to school but no longer as a half day student, he was now a full day kid. What does that mean- he was no longer only there for three hours but now seven hours. First thought- what the hell am I going to do for seven whole hours with his 16 month old brother?! When I only had one child I was still working at a vet occasionally pulling 11 hour shifts so I was kept busy, but now I kind of feel lost. Because of the holiday his first full day week was only three days long and he rocked them! Conner not only more than doubled his time at school but he is eating packed lunches in a cafeteria, he's using the potty like a big boy at least once a day and well his language has expanded to so many words it's hard to count!
Conner still has his at home ABA four days a week plus once every other weekend so he stays very busy but it is helping so much! I was very worried that I was putting his needs on another adult but everyone is reassuring me this is whats best for him. I still can't shake the "but I'm his mom" feeling. As much as I feel it should be my job to teach him I'm understanding that he is special, and it definitely does take a village to raise that kid ;)
Now on another note I'm a suffering the biggest case of writers block. I have so much to say but I am, like I said, stuck in the it's my job mood. This year holds big things for our family, our first deployment comes in a few months and I fear that I will not be able to handle all of his alone. We are also currently trying to get all the financial help Conner deserves and also the stress of getting Conner to eat more than just chicken nuggets is hard. I would like to say thank you for reading and as for all of you that message me or call me (cough mom cough) asking where my blog is, I urge you to continue. Writing and hearing everyone listen to conners story means the world and is better than having a therapist. Cheers to another insane year!!
Friday, December 7, 2012
All I want for christmas.
Every parent dreams of spoiling their kids christmas morning and well I want nothing different. Sure there is a deeper meaning behind the holiday but to a kid they don't understand that too well. Now Conner is definitely different. Due to having ASD he doesn't really understand holiday and birthdays, with the exception of the past year.
It wasn't until recently that he was excited for Halloween and now he's excited for Christmas. He will run around our house wearing a Santa hat saying "ho ho ho" and I swear it's the cutest thing to watch!
The past few years have been financially hard on us and we haven't been able to make christmas extra special to enjoy. Also we haven't ever had a Christmas where we were in our own home! We always travelled back to our "motherstate" and spent it with family.we made the decision this year to stay here for the actual holiday and we will travel home for a few days when the husband and Conner are free. This has been the first year that I made sure Conner will get gifts from Santa that he's going to LOVE. Last year he received many gifts ( well I think he got about 20 different dinosaurs from my parents each wrapped individually) but because of family issues he unwrapped them spread out on at least 3 different occasions.
It will be different this year! I told my husband all I want for christmas is to see my babies happy and to see them get plenty of fun learning toys! And sure enough that's just what I have been able to do. I look forward to Christmas morning when Conner runs to the tree as his little brother waddles behind him to go open their gifts.
I know I've said this before but I will do my best to not let myself treat Conner different because he has autism. He is a five year old boy with a disorder but he is still a kid and he deserves the same as others. Now am I saying there won't be meltdowns when the unwrapping starts and Conner doesn't want his toy but he wants his brothers- I know that will happen but I think ill be able to manage.
It wasn't until recently that he was excited for Halloween and now he's excited for Christmas. He will run around our house wearing a Santa hat saying "ho ho ho" and I swear it's the cutest thing to watch!
The past few years have been financially hard on us and we haven't been able to make christmas extra special to enjoy. Also we haven't ever had a Christmas where we were in our own home! We always travelled back to our "motherstate" and spent it with family.we made the decision this year to stay here for the actual holiday and we will travel home for a few days when the husband and Conner are free. This has been the first year that I made sure Conner will get gifts from Santa that he's going to LOVE. Last year he received many gifts ( well I think he got about 20 different dinosaurs from my parents each wrapped individually) but because of family issues he unwrapped them spread out on at least 3 different occasions.
It will be different this year! I told my husband all I want for christmas is to see my babies happy and to see them get plenty of fun learning toys! And sure enough that's just what I have been able to do. I look forward to Christmas morning when Conner runs to the tree as his little brother waddles behind him to go open their gifts.
I know I've said this before but I will do my best to not let myself treat Conner different because he has autism. He is a five year old boy with a disorder but he is still a kid and he deserves the same as others. Now am I saying there won't be meltdowns when the unwrapping starts and Conner doesn't want his toy but he wants his brothers- I know that will happen but I think ill be able to manage.
Monday, December 3, 2012
School. And an Ignorant Bus Driver.
My child, survived his first week of school! One proud mama alert right here! So a lot has happened but lets think of where to start- oh I guess Monday sounds good!
We have had conflicting times about when the bus is to arrive at our house, the not so kind lady on the phone from the bus services said 615 and without thinking my husband agreed, and then the next day a bus showed up at 620... now let me point out that the bus was coming to our house two whole weeks before Conner even started school! So since obviously my husband is military and leaves to work at wee hours of the morning, he waited for the bus driver and told her he wouldn't be actually starting school until after thanksgiving and yet another rude lady said she would come by in a few weeks. So low and behold Monday morning at 615, I heard NO bus but it was after all his first day and I was not going to put him in the hands of that many strangers all at once. As I was getting ready to wake my kids up and get them dressed I heard a bus stop in front of our house, I looked at my phone- it was 640! Yes you read that correctly! So me being the mother I am, I walked outside and confronted the bus driver. First I asked if she was the only person on the bus since we requested an assistant in our IEP, she responded with yes (keep in mind this is a full size regular school bus, we requested a smaller bus with an assistant) so then I asked to see the so called "car seat". First of all this was not a carseat! It was a cutout in the foam "seats" they have with a 5 point harness wrapped around where he would "sit" so I kindly told the lady, he was not going to stay seated in there and she bluntly said "OH he cant get OUTTA dat"! I swear to the readers that was the exact way she said that. Im sorry but that "SHIT aint gonna fly here" SO I then proceeded to ask what time she was going to be here becasue I was confused, she then proceeded to tell me (in her not so proper english) that "oh no hunny, I told your husband 6:15 to 6:20". that is when I snapped. All i responded with is "Its 6:40" and "He will not be riding your bus" and I turned and walked back in my house.
I do not understand how somebody can be so rude to a person who was nothing but polite to them. This person should not be driving a bus nor will my child ever rider her bus. I refuse to possibly wait 20-25 minutes for her to possibly show up at my house! Elementary school does not start until 730 here and thankfully it is only ten minutes down the road.
So besides the bus fiasco, I drove him to school, walked him to his class and greeted his teacher. My child looked like he had been doing that for years, he definitely fit right in and had no issues with us leaving him!! Me on the other hand- I couldn't wait til 1030 to pick him up!
He survived his first week with minimal issues, with the main one being he didn't want to eat any of the school breakfast. Which honestly I knew would be an issue because he is so picky at home so I made sure to pack an apple every day just in case.
The coolest part about his first week is how much he's changed- we are now at the end of the two week mark since well I'm one busy mama and haven't had time to post quickly (sorry mom! Haha). Not only has my child started "talking" more to the point of he can say "taa sh can" for trashcan and "ahl done" for all done- my child is officially potty training himself! For the past 7 days, my son has gone potty in the big boy potty 6 out of 7 days when prompted. I have tried for years to potty train and I honestly was ready to give up. When surprisingly he is showing us that he is ready and wants to try!
School is doing amazing things for my child and I really hope you are understanding how much help there is out there! He looks forward to going and even more I can feel the bond that his teachers have with him! Thank you ladies for being part of the support Conner needs, it's more than just a job! As for the bus driver, I suggest finding a new job.
We have had conflicting times about when the bus is to arrive at our house, the not so kind lady on the phone from the bus services said 615 and without thinking my husband agreed, and then the next day a bus showed up at 620... now let me point out that the bus was coming to our house two whole weeks before Conner even started school! So since obviously my husband is military and leaves to work at wee hours of the morning, he waited for the bus driver and told her he wouldn't be actually starting school until after thanksgiving and yet another rude lady said she would come by in a few weeks. So low and behold Monday morning at 615, I heard NO bus but it was after all his first day and I was not going to put him in the hands of that many strangers all at once. As I was getting ready to wake my kids up and get them dressed I heard a bus stop in front of our house, I looked at my phone- it was 640! Yes you read that correctly! So me being the mother I am, I walked outside and confronted the bus driver. First I asked if she was the only person on the bus since we requested an assistant in our IEP, she responded with yes (keep in mind this is a full size regular school bus, we requested a smaller bus with an assistant) so then I asked to see the so called "car seat". First of all this was not a carseat! It was a cutout in the foam "seats" they have with a 5 point harness wrapped around where he would "sit" so I kindly told the lady, he was not going to stay seated in there and she bluntly said "OH he cant get OUTTA dat"! I swear to the readers that was the exact way she said that. Im sorry but that "SHIT aint gonna fly here" SO I then proceeded to ask what time she was going to be here becasue I was confused, she then proceeded to tell me (in her not so proper english) that "oh no hunny, I told your husband 6:15 to 6:20". that is when I snapped. All i responded with is "Its 6:40" and "He will not be riding your bus" and I turned and walked back in my house.
I do not understand how somebody can be so rude to a person who was nothing but polite to them. This person should not be driving a bus nor will my child ever rider her bus. I refuse to possibly wait 20-25 minutes for her to possibly show up at my house! Elementary school does not start until 730 here and thankfully it is only ten minutes down the road.
So besides the bus fiasco, I drove him to school, walked him to his class and greeted his teacher. My child looked like he had been doing that for years, he definitely fit right in and had no issues with us leaving him!! Me on the other hand- I couldn't wait til 1030 to pick him up!
He survived his first week with minimal issues, with the main one being he didn't want to eat any of the school breakfast. Which honestly I knew would be an issue because he is so picky at home so I made sure to pack an apple every day just in case.
The coolest part about his first week is how much he's changed- we are now at the end of the two week mark since well I'm one busy mama and haven't had time to post quickly (sorry mom! Haha). Not only has my child started "talking" more to the point of he can say "taa sh can" for trashcan and "ahl done" for all done- my child is officially potty training himself! For the past 7 days, my son has gone potty in the big boy potty 6 out of 7 days when prompted. I have tried for years to potty train and I honestly was ready to give up. When surprisingly he is showing us that he is ready and wants to try!
School is doing amazing things for my child and I really hope you are understanding how much help there is out there! He looks forward to going and even more I can feel the bond that his teachers have with him! Thank you ladies for being part of the support Conner needs, it's more than just a job! As for the bus driver, I suggest finding a new job.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
He's a going to school!!
So the news is out, it's official- my 5 year old has been accepted into school!! After months of meeting with our local early intervention program, we had our final meeting this morning and drafted and finalized up his IEP. An IEP is an individualized education program, or in mommy English it is his plan about when he's going to go to school and what are their goals and objectives while he is attending. These meetings are designed to help children make a school plan if they are not considered "school aged" but has some sort of disability to allow them to learn.
Back to Conner's story, so we had heard from several of our therapists that this was going to be an intense meeting with lots of big words and a lots of thinking, so we decided we were gonna take our little one to a babysitter so we could concentrate on Conner- best decision ever! Even though everyone asked where the "cutie pie" was I'm glad I took him to my friends house for the morning! We arrived at the school and when we checked in we were pointed to the conference room and WOW there was about ten ladies sitting around the table- talk about overwhelming! We had asked our "big" ABA therapist to come so besides here there was two occupational therapists a speech therapist, a special Ed preschool teacher, an autism specialist, the head teacher at the school, the school psychologist, the principal and conners new preschool teacher. There was probably more but that's just what I can call out. So we listen to their evaluation and then their recommendations signed a lot of papers and of course got some much needed calming information from his actual teacher who gave us the run down of what he will be doing on a daily and how everything works.
After all the craziness we came up with the plan that Conner will go part time for the 3 weeks of school between thanksgiving and Christmas and then he will start full time in January for the rest of the school year! I'm so excited for him to ride a bus and be with other kids while learning but I'm kinda sad at the same time. Not only is my child growing up so quickly that he's gonna be attending school but once he starts full time we won't have our special ladies in our lives- at least not until school lets out and the summer sessions start. But all feelings aside I'm doing what's best. His class only has ten kids and only five of them is full time kids, so he will get plenty of attention from the teachers plus he will receive plenty of occupation, speech and ABA therapies in school. It's basically the deluxe package if you ask me!
When we were done with the information meeting I received a huge folder from the school with a bunch of papers to fill out and then conners teacher took us to the classroom which allowed to look around and also meet the kids. The classroom was amazing but honestly the bathroom was the best part- this bathroom was huge but the coolest thing was the full size fridge and the washer and dryer inside just for his class! Amazing right! Haha!! After we saw the class we walked out to the playground so Conner could interact with the kids and honestly I don't think Conner knew exactly what to do... he did make two friends and I think they'll one day be called the three hermanos- at least that's what I'm calling them!
As we left the school and got in the car I was just in awe. We have had the craziest year but look at how far we have come. Never give up and push for your rights, someone's gotta make sure our kids have the best opportunities available for them.
Back to Conner's story, so we had heard from several of our therapists that this was going to be an intense meeting with lots of big words and a lots of thinking, so we decided we were gonna take our little one to a babysitter so we could concentrate on Conner- best decision ever! Even though everyone asked where the "cutie pie" was I'm glad I took him to my friends house for the morning! We arrived at the school and when we checked in we were pointed to the conference room and WOW there was about ten ladies sitting around the table- talk about overwhelming! We had asked our "big" ABA therapist to come so besides here there was two occupational therapists a speech therapist, a special Ed preschool teacher, an autism specialist, the head teacher at the school, the school psychologist, the principal and conners new preschool teacher. There was probably more but that's just what I can call out. So we listen to their evaluation and then their recommendations signed a lot of papers and of course got some much needed calming information from his actual teacher who gave us the run down of what he will be doing on a daily and how everything works.
After all the craziness we came up with the plan that Conner will go part time for the 3 weeks of school between thanksgiving and Christmas and then he will start full time in January for the rest of the school year! I'm so excited for him to ride a bus and be with other kids while learning but I'm kinda sad at the same time. Not only is my child growing up so quickly that he's gonna be attending school but once he starts full time we won't have our special ladies in our lives- at least not until school lets out and the summer sessions start. But all feelings aside I'm doing what's best. His class only has ten kids and only five of them is full time kids, so he will get plenty of attention from the teachers plus he will receive plenty of occupation, speech and ABA therapies in school. It's basically the deluxe package if you ask me!
When we were done with the information meeting I received a huge folder from the school with a bunch of papers to fill out and then conners teacher took us to the classroom which allowed to look around and also meet the kids. The classroom was amazing but honestly the bathroom was the best part- this bathroom was huge but the coolest thing was the full size fridge and the washer and dryer inside just for his class! Amazing right! Haha!! After we saw the class we walked out to the playground so Conner could interact with the kids and honestly I don't think Conner knew exactly what to do... he did make two friends and I think they'll one day be called the three hermanos- at least that's what I'm calling them!
As we left the school and got in the car I was just in awe. We have had the craziest year but look at how far we have come. Never give up and push for your rights, someone's gotta make sure our kids have the best opportunities available for them.
Saturday, November 3, 2012
The big 5. Adventures and cake.
I've always believed that five is a big age to turn. I remember my fifth birthday and as per my conversation with fiends everyone has seemed to agree with me.
Well sadly my child doesn't understand many simple tasks so for him to understand that it is his birthday- I wouldn't expect him to know what it means. So as my husband and I decided, we wanted to give him something to remember so that when he was older- we could say "hey son remember when we went to the big aquarium in Georgia, that was for your fifth birthday".
So what did we do, we packed up our SUV, told whatever friends that wanted to tag along that we were hitting the road for the weekend. It was a five hour drive but it was worth every minute on the road! We arrived around 12:30am and after a long drive my kids were WIRED so we decided that we would stay up to the time Conner was born to celebrate- so we of course had to fill conners sensory meters up by rough playing and letting him run around and bounce on beds. Sure he didn't understand what we meant when we kept saying happy birthday but honestly one day, I want him to know that his autism didn't stop us from celebrating. This past year has been rough since his diagnosis but why would I let that stop us from getting out!
So after a good nights sleep we hit the road, ten minutes later we were in the parking garage of the great Atlanta aquarium. I was very hesitant when we were unloading from the car and I decided we weren't going to take the stroller but I'm so glad we didn't! To be honest Conner was great! We had no meltdowns, he LOVED the dolphin show and he had a blast seeing all the fishes and whales, oh and the shark tunnel was the coolest thing to him!! It's shocking to say, but his baby brother was the cranky one out of he bunch! But regardless we all had a blast and I would surely do it again and again if I had the money!
We celebrated after the aquarium with cake and a stay at another nice hotel. In the morning we explored Athens and the campus to our favorite football team (go dawgs!) and Conner yet again surprised us all.
I wish our family was here to enjoy this vacation with us, but for what it's worth I know that they are glad we got out and did something fun!
As for my lovely parents their saying was wish we were there but our gift will surely make up for our absence. It sure did! Of course I'd rather be surrounded by my family then get an expense gift, but my lovely parents bought Conner an iPad. Spoiled? Nope! This iPad isn't just for pleasure- it's actually one of the best therapy tools!! Ill be sure to keep you updated on the learning apps were using and also how it's such an awesome tool!
Enjoy a few photos- with many many more to come!
Well sadly my child doesn't understand many simple tasks so for him to understand that it is his birthday- I wouldn't expect him to know what it means. So as my husband and I decided, we wanted to give him something to remember so that when he was older- we could say "hey son remember when we went to the big aquarium in Georgia, that was for your fifth birthday".
So what did we do, we packed up our SUV, told whatever friends that wanted to tag along that we were hitting the road for the weekend. It was a five hour drive but it was worth every minute on the road! We arrived around 12:30am and after a long drive my kids were WIRED so we decided that we would stay up to the time Conner was born to celebrate- so we of course had to fill conners sensory meters up by rough playing and letting him run around and bounce on beds. Sure he didn't understand what we meant when we kept saying happy birthday but honestly one day, I want him to know that his autism didn't stop us from celebrating. This past year has been rough since his diagnosis but why would I let that stop us from getting out!
So after a good nights sleep we hit the road, ten minutes later we were in the parking garage of the great Atlanta aquarium. I was very hesitant when we were unloading from the car and I decided we weren't going to take the stroller but I'm so glad we didn't! To be honest Conner was great! We had no meltdowns, he LOVED the dolphin show and he had a blast seeing all the fishes and whales, oh and the shark tunnel was the coolest thing to him!! It's shocking to say, but his baby brother was the cranky one out of he bunch! But regardless we all had a blast and I would surely do it again and again if I had the money!
We celebrated after the aquarium with cake and a stay at another nice hotel. In the morning we explored Athens and the campus to our favorite football team (go dawgs!) and Conner yet again surprised us all.
I wish our family was here to enjoy this vacation with us, but for what it's worth I know that they are glad we got out and did something fun!
As for my lovely parents their saying was wish we were there but our gift will surely make up for our absence. It sure did! Of course I'd rather be surrounded by my family then get an expense gift, but my lovely parents bought Conner an iPad. Spoiled? Nope! This iPad isn't just for pleasure- it's actually one of the best therapy tools!! Ill be sure to keep you updated on the learning apps were using and also how it's such an awesome tool!
Enjoy a few photos- with many many more to come!
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Trick or treat. With a voice.
Conner could have been a pirate, a ninja, even an angry bird but my child choose a ghost. Yes my practically five year old was a ghost for Halloween! It could have been influenced because for therapy they are making ghost noises and having him walk around with his hands straight out saying boo but at the end of the day, he was the best ghost out there!
Last year was the first actually Halloween my child dressed up and went out house to house. He shocked us by being the calmest kid in the group! He walked from house to house and was careful to only take one piece of candy. I don't know what it is about Halloween that made my kid so- well normal! So when this year came around I was so excited I woke up feeling like a kid again and couldn't wait til it got dark.
Now for the first year ever on Facebook their are pictures and sayings circulating about kids that cannot speak or kids with difficulties grabbing candy. Maybe there were pictures the year back and I'm just noticing them or maybe autism is becoming more known and understood. Hopefully people are understanding more- that would be my wish!
Because of these sayings I had an idea. What mom doesn't want to buy her kid a Halloween shirt to wear, but I wanted to be different. My dad had found a quote and I was going to use my creativity and make it a shirt- so I did! The shirt reads, " happy Halloween... Boo to you... I am non verbal... I cannot speak... If I could I would say... Trick or treat". Now this shirt was a hit! But let's back up- the morning of Halloween I showed my child this shirt. As I read it to him he was trying to copy me! He was trying and was actually making a different sound for each syllable!! He copied the entire saying but when I asked if he could say trick or treat, he said it so clear my heart melted. I immediately called my parents so they could hear him speak! For the rest of the day I kept asking for him to repeat it and he did- sometimes it wasn't that perfect but I don't care, my child was trying and I know he is capable of speaking.
Later we headed out the door to a friends house and now it was time to get ready. Conners costume had a mask- but I knew he wouldn't keep it on because it was a full face mask. So I painted his face white, put some black under his eyes and off we went. Yet again he walked, grabbed candy and this year he tried to say trick or treat.
Overall this Halloween night was yet another great night because he fit in and was accepted for being different. One older gentleman heard him say trick or treat with difficulty and his response was "hey he's trying and he's doing good at trying". For a complete stranger to be so kind was an awesome feeling.
I hope you had a fun Halloween and even more I hope if you encountered a child having a hard time saying trick or treat you didn't treat him differently. Enjoy these few photos from our night!
Last year was the first actually Halloween my child dressed up and went out house to house. He shocked us by being the calmest kid in the group! He walked from house to house and was careful to only take one piece of candy. I don't know what it is about Halloween that made my kid so- well normal! So when this year came around I was so excited I woke up feeling like a kid again and couldn't wait til it got dark.
Now for the first year ever on Facebook their are pictures and sayings circulating about kids that cannot speak or kids with difficulties grabbing candy. Maybe there were pictures the year back and I'm just noticing them or maybe autism is becoming more known and understood. Hopefully people are understanding more- that would be my wish!
Because of these sayings I had an idea. What mom doesn't want to buy her kid a Halloween shirt to wear, but I wanted to be different. My dad had found a quote and I was going to use my creativity and make it a shirt- so I did! The shirt reads, " happy Halloween... Boo to you... I am non verbal... I cannot speak... If I could I would say... Trick or treat". Now this shirt was a hit! But let's back up- the morning of Halloween I showed my child this shirt. As I read it to him he was trying to copy me! He was trying and was actually making a different sound for each syllable!! He copied the entire saying but when I asked if he could say trick or treat, he said it so clear my heart melted. I immediately called my parents so they could hear him speak! For the rest of the day I kept asking for him to repeat it and he did- sometimes it wasn't that perfect but I don't care, my child was trying and I know he is capable of speaking.
Later we headed out the door to a friends house and now it was time to get ready. Conners costume had a mask- but I knew he wouldn't keep it on because it was a full face mask. So I painted his face white, put some black under his eyes and off we went. Yet again he walked, grabbed candy and this year he tried to say trick or treat.
Overall this Halloween night was yet another great night because he fit in and was accepted for being different. One older gentleman heard him say trick or treat with difficulty and his response was "hey he's trying and he's doing good at trying". For a complete stranger to be so kind was an awesome feeling.
I hope you had a fun Halloween and even more I hope if you encountered a child having a hard time saying trick or treat you didn't treat him differently. Enjoy these few photos from our night!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Pumpkin patch. Corn and sand.
Lets be honest. You will probably never meet two kids on the autism spectrum that are identical. I had the privilege of attending a social outing with our ABA group this past weekend and while I was there my eyes were opened up. These 5 boys (Conner included) were all so different. One kid didn't like to be away from his mom to the point that he was attached like glue because he didn't like new things, One kid was talking up a storm about the corn field and how to read a map, one kid was very quiet but talked quietly when asked a simple question, but ultimately Conner was the most different as for his had no speech and had to hold hands with someone the whole time so he didn't run off.
Granted my child was the youngest (as was I as a parent) and he was also the newest to the group- all the kids were very much similar.
There was a huge tire jump the had a mound of sand to play on and all the kids loved it! They loved to play in the sand and climb to the highest point. One kid said "you look like an ant down there" so a response was " you look like a giant up there"! These kids see literal things. So he might have been picturing us as ants and then himself as a big giant.
The ultimate favorite was the corn box. It was basically a sand box filled with corn kernels and oh man it was a hit! Every single kid at one point was Laying down squishing sand in between their fingers. It was amazing to see them all fill up their sensory needs by simply rolling in corn!
Overall this trip was so much fun and I look forward to seeing this group of kids again for our next adventure!
Granted my child was the youngest (as was I as a parent) and he was also the newest to the group- all the kids were very much similar.
There was a huge tire jump the had a mound of sand to play on and all the kids loved it! They loved to play in the sand and climb to the highest point. One kid said "you look like an ant down there" so a response was " you look like a giant up there"! These kids see literal things. So he might have been picturing us as ants and then himself as a big giant.
The ultimate favorite was the corn box. It was basically a sand box filled with corn kernels and oh man it was a hit! Every single kid at one point was Laying down squishing sand in between their fingers. It was amazing to see them all fill up their sensory needs by simply rolling in corn!
Overall this trip was so much fun and I look forward to seeing this group of kids again for our next adventure!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Medicating. Or not.
Hearing a trained therapist say they cannot work with your child is the worst. An hour session went to 30 minutes, then 15 minutes and even one session was only 10 minutes long. How could a therapists not work with my child for such a short period of time when I was able to do it every day all day long with no naps involved to get a break and even more- I had an infant on my hip!
His therapist which yes we do still work with her now, told me that unless he got on some sort of behavioral meds or started ABA therapy she didn't think she would be able to handle him. Am I making you mad yet that a trained and licensed therapist said this?
My child is part of the autism spectrum, has ADHD and a bunch of behavioral issues. Now does that mean he is strung up on drugs? No! Don't get me wrong, we debated it and even went as far as reaching out to our social worker to make it happen but thankfully so far we have decided against it.
We were having a hard time getting ABA started due to our medical insurance because instead of using the company they were trying to give us a referral to I wanted to use the company that I met at an autism walk because I felt like they cared about us (which they clearly do).
Thankfully our social worker was able to talk us out of starting a bunch of "mind relaxing" medicines and we concentrated on getting ABA started and that was the best thing ever. Am I to say that I will never put my child on medicine? Definitely not.
I am not against medicating, I just know that in this particular time in Conners life he has something that is better than medicine and that is the three ladies that come to our home four times a week that work on everyday life with him.
Thankfully the therapist that said she didn't think she could work with him reminds me every time we see her that Conner is so different that its amazing how much more attentive he is. I love going into the office and explaining everything he had learned in the past week and seeing that look of shock on her face. We started ABA the beginning if September and Conner has blossomed into the little boy that we all know is in there- we still have a long way to go but the progress we have already seen is totally worth the rough path we have and will continue to go through.
If you have ever been faced with the reality that you might have to put your child on behavior meds, I invite you to take a step back and look at all the options. Sadly these medicines don't always work and can very much make the situation you are in worse. In Conner's case, if I put him on a pill how would I know if he had any side affects like a headache or a tummy ache or if he just didn't feel like him. My child is non verbal and that clearly isn't an option for us, right now at least.
As for the therapist who said she couldn't work with him- I almost gave up on her but I'm glad I didn't. If I did she never would have seen how great Conner is and can be. Maybe he's teaching her a thing or two!
His therapist which yes we do still work with her now, told me that unless he got on some sort of behavioral meds or started ABA therapy she didn't think she would be able to handle him. Am I making you mad yet that a trained and licensed therapist said this?
My child is part of the autism spectrum, has ADHD and a bunch of behavioral issues. Now does that mean he is strung up on drugs? No! Don't get me wrong, we debated it and even went as far as reaching out to our social worker to make it happen but thankfully so far we have decided against it.
We were having a hard time getting ABA started due to our medical insurance because instead of using the company they were trying to give us a referral to I wanted to use the company that I met at an autism walk because I felt like they cared about us (which they clearly do).
Thankfully our social worker was able to talk us out of starting a bunch of "mind relaxing" medicines and we concentrated on getting ABA started and that was the best thing ever. Am I to say that I will never put my child on medicine? Definitely not.
I am not against medicating, I just know that in this particular time in Conners life he has something that is better than medicine and that is the three ladies that come to our home four times a week that work on everyday life with him.
Thankfully the therapist that said she didn't think she could work with him reminds me every time we see her that Conner is so different that its amazing how much more attentive he is. I love going into the office and explaining everything he had learned in the past week and seeing that look of shock on her face. We started ABA the beginning if September and Conner has blossomed into the little boy that we all know is in there- we still have a long way to go but the progress we have already seen is totally worth the rough path we have and will continue to go through.
If you have ever been faced with the reality that you might have to put your child on behavior meds, I invite you to take a step back and look at all the options. Sadly these medicines don't always work and can very much make the situation you are in worse. In Conner's case, if I put him on a pill how would I know if he had any side affects like a headache or a tummy ache or if he just didn't feel like him. My child is non verbal and that clearly isn't an option for us, right now at least.
As for the therapist who said she couldn't work with him- I almost gave up on her but I'm glad I didn't. If I did she never would have seen how great Conner is and can be. Maybe he's teaching her a thing or two!
What do you want to know?
I've had the privilege to start sharing my story but I've had a lot of questions along the way. I would love to hear what you want to know or want shared. I'm sharing my email so you can privately send me questions and I will answer them here anonymously through my blog.
Ask away readers!!
Burninphotos@gmail.com
Ask away readers!!
Burninphotos@gmail.com
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Festival and using a voice.
I must say, in the past three days I have taken my two kids somewhere to do something big which means loud noises and crowds but let me tell you: they have been the best outings I have ever been on with my kids.
Conners autism usually means meltdowns, screaming and not so fun stares because he doesn't talk or necessarily understand. Thankfully this weekend was a complete turn around.
We attended children's day this weekend which had bounce houses and horse rides and lots of booths and games. Of course my child wanted to do everything but he had trouble waiting but even with long lines he did amazingly well. I wore my surfers healing shirt which says "surfers healing a foundation for autism" on it in hopes that if Conner acted up others would see my shirt and be kind. Surprisingly enough, people were! I even had a very nice gentleman at a booth ask me about surfers healing and I was thrilled to explain their organization and what it had done for my child.
Surfers healing is basically a bunch of professional surfers that volunteer their time and kindness to take children with autism out on a surf board for the day. It's amazing to see how wound up these kids are on the beach and how calm they are out in the ocean with a board and trusting a complete stranger. I cried when "mark" our surfer came in on a wave and picked Conner up on his shoulders- seeing the look on conners face was as if he was on top of the world. I posted on their Facebook page telling them that I shared their organization at the event and surely enough they replied saying thank you and said "it only takes one voice". I am proud to say I'm speaking for myself and most of all my son.
Please enjoy these photos!
Conners autism usually means meltdowns, screaming and not so fun stares because he doesn't talk or necessarily understand. Thankfully this weekend was a complete turn around.
We attended children's day this weekend which had bounce houses and horse rides and lots of booths and games. Of course my child wanted to do everything but he had trouble waiting but even with long lines he did amazingly well. I wore my surfers healing shirt which says "surfers healing a foundation for autism" on it in hopes that if Conner acted up others would see my shirt and be kind. Surprisingly enough, people were! I even had a very nice gentleman at a booth ask me about surfers healing and I was thrilled to explain their organization and what it had done for my child.
Surfers healing is basically a bunch of professional surfers that volunteer their time and kindness to take children with autism out on a surf board for the day. It's amazing to see how wound up these kids are on the beach and how calm they are out in the ocean with a board and trusting a complete stranger. I cried when "mark" our surfer came in on a wave and picked Conner up on his shoulders- seeing the look on conners face was as if he was on top of the world. I posted on their Facebook page telling them that I shared their organization at the event and surely enough they replied saying thank you and said "it only takes one voice". I am proud to say I'm speaking for myself and most of all my son.
Please enjoy these photos!
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Angel oak.
My parents haven't seen Conner in about 2 months. The first thing they noticed was a sense of calming peace over him! My dad was the first to point out his change and I can say thank you to my five special ladies to making this happen.
So since my parents are in town for 2 days we decided to get out ad enjoy the weather. We all have been hearing about the angel oak that is located in johns island which from where I live in charleston- 20 minutes down the road. Ill admit I'm very hesitant cause hello, it's not the best choice to take a hyper child who has needs to a 1000 year old tree that you can't climb on haha. But we went and I can honestly say it was the most calming trip- about 85% of it at least haha.
So we pull up, walk to a picnic table, eat our subs, take some pictures and leave- all without any meltdowns and only one accident of Conner running away and making sure his grandpa got his daily Conner exercise (Ps he only ran away because we spotted an albino squirrel and it was the coolest thing since sliced bread to this kid).
It was a very fun outing and I'm very happy that my parents were able to watch a therapy session and also experience the new calmer more attentive version of Conner. There might not be a cure for Autism but there is definitely therapy that really works for children- some more than others but in our case it's a blessing.
Enjoy these photos of our fun outing
So since my parents are in town for 2 days we decided to get out ad enjoy the weather. We all have been hearing about the angel oak that is located in johns island which from where I live in charleston- 20 minutes down the road. Ill admit I'm very hesitant cause hello, it's not the best choice to take a hyper child who has needs to a 1000 year old tree that you can't climb on haha. But we went and I can honestly say it was the most calming trip- about 85% of it at least haha.
So we pull up, walk to a picnic table, eat our subs, take some pictures and leave- all without any meltdowns and only one accident of Conner running away and making sure his grandpa got his daily Conner exercise (Ps he only ran away because we spotted an albino squirrel and it was the coolest thing since sliced bread to this kid).
It was a very fun outing and I'm very happy that my parents were able to watch a therapy session and also experience the new calmer more attentive version of Conner. There might not be a cure for Autism but there is definitely therapy that really works for children- some more than others but in our case it's a blessing.
Enjoy these photos of our fun outing
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Brothers. The silent bond.
Yesterday during ABA my child spoke- like really spoke. He saw his brother through the window and said "hi lil bro"! If that is not something that melts your heart, I don't know how much more gushy I can get!
So lets back up- here I was at the end of my second pregnancy and very unsure if my oldest was going to handle sharing his mom. Let me remind you we did not have a diagnosis for Conner. I had noticed a pattern that Conner did not respond well to change but I thought he has just had a rough year considering we just moved again, he had just gotten his father back and here I was with this big old belly and wasn't my energized self. I still remember friends from back home asking "is Conner excited" and "does the big brother want a brother or a sister"?! Now ill be 100% honest, I didn't want people to know my child was different. I was I guess "ashamed" that my almost four year couldn't speak and even more that he had no idea what a baby was and that we were going to be bringing one home to stay. So my answer was almost always "yes he is" or "we will see how he does".
Conner started daycare a few months before my delivery because I was high risk due to my pregnancy with Conner so his doctor recommended daycare to help get him socialized. Me and my fifty pounds of extra weight was glad to take Conner somewhere so I could just sit down and relax even if it was only for 2 hours. I did feel guilty though cause I knew he gave his daycare teachers a run for the money haha. Conner would say in daycare for a little under a year and I felt like it helped- a little. It got to the point that my four year old was still in the 2-3 year old class and honestly I think it held him back from learning what the average 4 year old would be learning. After he was diagnosed and his therapies started picking up I felt like it was holding him back so I just up and stopped taking him. He didn't like daycare toward the end anyways.
So when I went into labor with Colten I had dropped Conner off at school hen went to the doctors to find out I was not going to be seeing Conner again before I delivered because my labor was starting and I needed to get to the hospital for surgery. Thankfully at the time I had an incredible bond with my neighbor and she thankfully was able to pick up Conner from daycare and she watched him until later that evening when Miguel brought him to the hospital. My mom flew in and after I delivered a healthy 6lb 13oz baby boy my husband left the hospital to pick up Conner and my mom to come to the hospital. Enough about me birthing kids now right!Haha
So I'm assuming they walked Conner into the hospital okay but the moment he saw me on the hospital bed all Conner wanted to do was jump and play- now I just had major surgery so this mama was in no mood! We tried showing him his new brother and well he had no interest in him. Needless to say we did not get the typical big brother holds little brother in the hospital picture. Conner was very upset and all over the place so I knew they needed to get him home. Saying bye to him was the worst- I heard him screaming all the way down the hallway because my poor kid didn't understand why he wasn't allowed to leave with his mama. Because we knew this wasn't the best experience for him we all decided that it would be best if my mother stayed with me for the remainder of my hospital stay and Conner would stay at home with his dad. The next week was followed by temper tantrums and ear holdings because the baby was loud and was getting all of our attention.
I remember crying when my mother was leaving after only staying for a short week. How was I supposed to adjust to two kids- one a newborn and one who had way to much energy and didn't know how to listen?! Needless to say I did it and I'm proud to say to this day nobody could do my job better than me. I'd love to see my mom, sister, husband, even my best friend take care of my kids and deal with what I have to for one whole day: oh man would that be a reality show haha.
Little Colten was hospitalized for 5 days a few weeks later and my mother and sister came to stay with Conner so my husband could stay with my newborn and me in the hospital while they ran tests. I know my mom and sister had lots of fun with crazy Conner and my three nieces and nephew all in one haha.
Now Conner and his new baby brother Colten didn't have a bond until recently and honestly I wish it would have happened months and months ago. Colten was only six months old when Conner was diagnosed and a few weeks later he started occupational and speech therapy. It wasn't until this past summer right before Colten turned one that Conner really started giving him the "normal" brother attention. Even thanks to ABA therapy it's more like "hey" and "no" because Colten wants his big brothers toys.
I call their bond silent because Colten loves his brother so much, but because there isn't speech they are not as close as the average brothers their age. Lately Conner has been paying so much more attention to his little brother that I know their silent bond is strengthening and that's one more checklist off our to do list.
Of course this is only the beginning of their lives and friendship so as their mother my wish for my two sons is that their bond is everlasting and hopefully one day soon their conversations will last for hours and hours.
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